...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
