Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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