this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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