Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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