There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
