It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
