Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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