Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
