You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize