I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize