We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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