DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
