He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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