If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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