he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
