I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
