'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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