i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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