Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
