We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize