Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
