Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
