you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Farmville is her only friend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just blew my weed a kiss
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
