We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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