I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
