with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize