the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
