just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
