Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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