he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
