We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
