My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
