FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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