talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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