you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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