Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
