shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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