he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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