would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
