omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
