I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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