They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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