I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No subtext here. People are naked.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
