Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
