I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think I just sharted jello shots
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
