they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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