if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
