That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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