what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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