he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
