True but thats because hes a fetus.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
