i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize