just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
