I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize