You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
