He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
