Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize