can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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