I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
