I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
