I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
