I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize