She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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