And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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