Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
