i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
