His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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