you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
