I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
