If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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