I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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