nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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