I think I died a long time ago.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
