when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
