I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
