I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
