he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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