why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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