they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
